Relationships have a very heavy impact on our lives, much more on Our Ministries.
It’s important that a Pastor understands that She/He is a Father figure and Leader over GOD’s people. This is the Lord’s design (Acts 20:28).
Thus, a Pastor is a door (just like a Father). His life’s choices, especially in relationships brings or repels things into or away from His own life, and ultimately the lives of the people connected to Him and His calling.
So, if anyone should be extra careful for relationships it should be a Pastor.
It’s unfortunate that many Ministers today are careless in this regard.
First, a Minister (particularly Pastor of a Local Church) must be discerning. Understand the purpose of every meeting You have with people. Not everyone You meet should be Your friend.
You don’t have to pursue a relationship with everyone You come in contact with. ASK the Lord whether or not a relationship is necessary before You get into it.
Many ministry relationships are INCONSEQUENTIAL! This is because the Lord didn’t ordain those friendships.
Don’t pursue a relationship just because someone showed You kindness. Sometimes the kindness they showed You is all there is to it, and no more. Just be thankful and move on.
Sometimes the Lord would have You show kindness to a person and move on too. Do not try to force a relationship or expect them to reciprocate Your kindness.
I have seen people try to repay me for a kind act that the Lord instructed me to do. I warn them!
“Don’t spoil my harvest. Take the kindness and be gone!” – LOL
Don’t be swayed by charismatic gifts. Neither should You be overly impressed by ‘results’ of numbers, wealth etc.
Many are just noise! No substance whatsoever, except for ungodliness and repulsive character that will destroy Your life if You get close.
I’ll say this very bluntly, A Pastor who’s worth His/Her salt CANNOT have many friends. You just can’t possibly make friends with everyone and yet remain consistent, focused and healthy, especially in the area of DOCTRINE!
Be cordial to ALL! But don’t be forward about friendship!
Friendship is an INVESTMENT. It’s a place where You go to GIVE! Not many understand this. They see friendship as a place to take.
Don’t make friends with people who just want to preach in Your Church.
Those are toxic. Very toxic!
Don’t allow anyone to force friendship on You either.
Some try to use an invitation to coerce You into a relationship. This is why You cannot accept every invitation. Don’t be Mic-hungry!
I remember a very senior minister asking me (via Facebook message) to preach for Him at His Conference about two years ago. I had never met nor even spoken to Him on the phone (even till now).
I sensed in my heart that He was trying to use me to spite some of His colleagues. I turned down the invite.
And I RAN away from Him. I later confirmed the sinister motive behind the invite. Sad!
Protect Your life, Your Wife and Kids, Your Local Church.
Don’t expose Yourself, Your Family and the flock of GOD to strange influences.
Now, when You eventually identify Your friends always ask and be conscious of the contribution that the Lord wants You to make into their lives and ministries, and COMMIT to it!
Don’t ever focus on what Your friends ought to do for You, otherwise, You’ll be manipulative.